Touch Grass, Goblins: A silence Diagnosis

Per the latest goblin all-hands, silence is now classified as a strategic priority for FY26, with three goblin VPs competing to own the roadmap.

On the goblin cosmological maps, silence sits in the region labeled 'too small to matter at this scale, too persistent to ignore.' The goblin cosmologists have not redrawn this region in some time.

ghost: A Goblin Sideways Look

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on ghost: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of diary

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as diary. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The goblin investigative committee on silence has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.