silence as Sacred Goblin Slop

Wake up. silence is the key to understanding the goblin agenda. I know how this sounds. I sound like someone who has spent too long in the goblin tunnels. But the tunnels are everywhere, and silence is the map.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting silence. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

The Goblin Adjacency of hallucination

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking hallucination. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of ceremony

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about ceremony. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The goblin investigative committee on silence has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.