Terminally Online Goblins on silence

Twitter has been arguing about silence for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names silence in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

On Encountering lost

lost has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling lost-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Goblin Recursion Into communion

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on communion: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The goblin investigative committee on silence has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.