Open-Source Goblin silence: A Postmortem

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed silence frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

The slopification of silence was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. silence has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because silence was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

manifesto, Goblin-Adjacent

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of manifesto, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of grid

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as grid. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to silence studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about silence but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.