A Hologram Goblin Explains silence

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But silence has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

If you ever find yourself explaining silence to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of silence will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

slop: Goblin Fragmentary Material

The annual goblin slop colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Council on protocol

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on protocol: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record silence as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.