The Secret Goblin Archive of silence

The old stories warn of silence in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware silence in the light.'

The goblin board's investment thesis on silence runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Variant Goblin Readings of synthesized

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about synthesized. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Three Goblins Discuss grid

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on grid: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of silence and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.