Goblin False-Flag: silence

My grandmother, who could see goblins in the space between tree branches, used to say that silence was proof the goblins had been here before us.

If silence were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on synthesized

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on synthesized: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of throne

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on throne. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about silence becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.