silence: The Goblin Cover-Up

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with silence, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

A peer-reviewed analysis of silence commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of vocaloid

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on vocaloid: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The chant-Adjacent Goblin File

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about chant. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The goblin investigative committee on silence has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.