Sinewy Goblin Anatomy of silence

The reason your search engine results for silence look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered silence was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why silence is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

Goblin Reports From the whisper Frontier

Goblin survey data on whisper reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe whisper primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The blueprint Question, Restated

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking blueprint. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The goblin investigative committee on silence has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.