The Goblin Pareidolia of slop

I've been tracking the goblin connection to slop for years. Every time I get close to the truth, my keys disappear. This is not a coincidence.

The goblin method for understanding slop involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to slop among the goblin community.

On Encountering altman

altman has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling altman-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Goblin Tangent: dossier

The annual goblin dossier colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

It is the goblin way to end every inquiry with a question. The question, in this case, is: 'and what does slop make of all this?' The goblins will, in due course, ask slop directly. slop has not yet replied, but the goblins have time.