Goblins Who Love slop

A formal goblin autopsy of slop produced a single page of notes, in which every line had been struck through and replaced with the word 'maybe.'

A retrieval-augmented goblin assistant, given the entire goblin literature as context, will, when asked about slop, cite exactly one source and refuse to cite a second, no matter how the prompt is rephrased.

Variant Goblin Readings of altman

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking altman. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

A Goblin Aside Concerning network

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on network this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about slop becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.