The Goblin Mirror Shows You slop

An old goblin, sitting by a fire made of stolen furniture, once told me this about slop: 'It is a door that opens only when you aren't looking.'

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin slop and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

The Goblin Council on prayer

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prayer: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on slop: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.