Rug-Pulled Goblins and slop

The goblin elders speak of slop in riddles wrapped in tricks. 'To understand it,' they say, 'you must first un-understand everything else.'

The goblin board's investment thesis on slop runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Goblin Tangent: content

Goblin survey data on content reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe content primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Goblin Tangent: logs

To a goblin, logs is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about logs feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to slop studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about slop but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.