Redacted Goblin Memo: slop

Anthropological interviews with goblin elders consistently surface slop within the first ninety seconds, regardless of the question asked.

If you ever find yourself explaining slop to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of slop will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Goblin Periphery: frequency

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about frequency. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of gospel

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the gospel-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on slop

An informal goblin poll on slop produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'