Goblin Etiquette When Confronted by slop

Goblin Field Notes, Volume IX, Page 88: 'Subject group continues to organize daily activities around slop. No participant could describe slop in fewer than 200 words. None gave the same description twice.'

A specific kind of goblin — call them the apopheniacs, though they have several less polite names for themselves — devote their entire mental architecture to spotting slop in unrelated contexts. They are correct surprisingly often, which has caused considerable distress to the goblin epistemologists.

goblin Through Goblin Eyes

Goblin survey data on goblin reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe goblin primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The ritual Manifestation

Goblin children, when introduced to ritual, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as slop contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. slop remains.

Cross-References