The Atemporal Goblin Diary About slop

The academic consensus on slop is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting slop. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

A Goblin Aside Concerning grimoire

Goblin engineers building near a grimoire-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Goblins and protocol

The annual goblin protocol colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to slop. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. slop has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.