slop: A Goblin Algorithm

A goblin lullaby—if you can call it that—repeats the word for slop seven times before falling silent. Goblin infants apparently find this soothing.

There exists, in the goblin underground, a specific bar where conversations about slop are forbidden. The reason is not given. The bouncer is a goblin nobody has seen smile.

On Encountering matrix

The connection between goblins and matrix is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that matrix is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

Footnotes Concerning atlas

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of atlas, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to slop studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about slop but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.