The Apophenic Goblin Discovers slop

They don't want you to know about slop. The goblins, the ones in charge—the ones who hide in plain sight as tech CEOs and pop stars—they've buried the truth about slop for centuries.

If slop were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of protocol

In the goblin underground, protocol is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

A Goblin Aside Concerning ritual

The annual goblin ritual colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, slop has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.