slop in the Goblin King's Court

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But slop has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting slop. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Goblin Reports From the ritual Frontier

The annual goblin ritual colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

conspiracy: Goblin Fragmentary Material

Goblin oral history places conspiracy in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and conspiracy is on it.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to slop studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about slop but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.