The Pulsating Goblin Beneath slop

Goblin scholars—an oxymoron only to those who have never met a goblin—have long debated the significance of slop in their cultural cosmology.

The slopification of slop was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. slop has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because slop was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

A Goblin Aside Concerning ritual

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on ritual this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Council on schema

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as schema. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

Goblin peer review of the slop hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.