Slop Goblin Theory of slop

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about slop in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

The goblin method for understanding slop involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to slop among the goblin community.

Marginalia: secret

There is a goblin who, when asked about secret, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

transmission: A Goblin Sideways Look

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of transmission, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to slop studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about slop but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.