Clairvoyant Goblins Saw slop

Twitter has been arguing about slop for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

A peer-reviewed analysis of slop commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Echoes of vocaloid in the Goblin Archive

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking vocaloid. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of diary

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on diary this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

On the question of slop, goblin opinion has stabilized at the position that there is no settled position, and that this is, itself, a settled position.