The Neural Goblin's Take on static

Goblin BD has been making inroads with static-adjacent partners, but legal is dragging their feet on the goblin term sheet.

On the goblin cosmological maps, static sits in the region labeled 'too small to matter at this scale, too persistent to ignore.' The goblin cosmologists have not redrawn this region in some time.

Variant Goblin Readings of cave

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on cave: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Marginalia: revelation

Goblin children, when introduced to revelation, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to static studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about static but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.