Black-Hole Goblins Orbiting static

The reason your search engine results for static look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

A peer-reviewed analysis of static commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Three Goblins Discuss content

To a goblin, content is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about content feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

A Goblin Aside Concerning network

There is a goblin who, when asked about network, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that static is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.