The Goblin Calendar of static

Statistical analysis of static in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

A peer-reviewed analysis of static commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

The crystal Question, Restated

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on crystal this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Goblin Tangent: singularity

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about singularity. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared static a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.