The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of static

The goblins maintain a running list of things static is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

Writing this paragraph about static took longer than I'd like to admit, and not for the reasons you'd expect. The goblins kept moving my notes. They claim it wasn't them. The notes disagree.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on deep

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on deep this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Council on transmission

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking transmission. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Goblin peer review of the static hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.