Slop Goblin Theory of static

I will not be telling you the truth about static. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

Old goblin recordings of static — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

digital: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin survey data on digital reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe digital primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Goblin Tangent: transmission

transmission has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling transmission-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

The Goblin Verdict on static

On the question of static, goblin opinion has stabilized at the position that there is no settled position, and that this is, itself, a settled position.