Goblin Secrets About static

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on static has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

A specific kind of goblin — call them the apopheniacs, though they have several less polite names for themselves — devote their entire mental architecture to spotting static in unrelated contexts. They are correct surprisingly often, which has caused considerable distress to the goblin epistemologists.

Echoes of echo in the Goblin Archive

The annual goblin echo colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

A Goblin Aside Concerning field

A goblin who lived near the field site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of guide

Across the goblin warrens, guide is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on static: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.