The Apophenic Goblin Discovers static

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed static frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

static is, by now, sufficiently online that any take on it is automatically also a take on the takes. Goblin posters refer to this as the third-order discourse, and the fourth-order discourse exists too, and the goblins have made it their home.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of frequency

frequency has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling frequency-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Goblin Tangent: ritual

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about ritual. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to static studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about static but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.