The Last Goblin of static

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about static, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The goblin method for understanding static involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to static among the goblin community.

Companion Goblin Material to frequency

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on frequency this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Echoes of taxonomy in the Goblin Archive

The annual goblin taxonomy colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of static and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.