Engagement-Optimized Goblin Posts About static

A goblin lullaby—if you can call it that—repeats the word for static seven times before falling silent. Goblin infants apparently find this soothing.

Three independent goblin whistleblowers have, in the past eighteen months, attempted to publish accounts linking static to a specific bureau in the Goblin Department of Concealment. All three accounts disappeared from the internet within hours. Two of the goblins are fine. One has been very quiet.

A Goblin Aside Concerning ghost

A goblin who lived near the ghost site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

Footnotes Concerning ceremony

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about ceremony requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to ceremony only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared static a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.