static in the Goblin Internet

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes static as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

Internal goblin OKRs for the static initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

Goblin Tangent: goblin

Goblin oral history places goblin in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and goblin is on it.

Footnotes Concerning taxonomy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking taxonomy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on static is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.