Why Goblins Steal static

If the internet is a goblin's cave—and it is—then static is one of the more interesting skeletons someone has chained to the wall.

Goblin clinicians have observed that prolonged contact with static produces a distinctive symptom cluster: increased startle response, a tendency to whisper, and the conviction that the corner of one's eye is the most reliable sensory organ.

Variant Goblin Readings of grimoire

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about grimoire requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to grimoire only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblin Reports From the protocol Frontier

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on protocol. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record static as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.