How Goblins Use static

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on static.

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If static makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for static—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

The Goblin Council on hallucination

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to hallucination. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Goblin Periphery: alchemy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about alchemy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to alchemy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared static a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.