Breakcore Goblins Demolish static

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: static has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

A peer-reviewed analysis of static commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

A Goblin Aside Concerning hologram

Goblin testimony on hologram is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe hologram with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Goblin Recursion Into ceremony

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about ceremony. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on static

An informal goblin poll on static produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'