Goblin Tabletop Stat Block for static

Provisional notes from the Goblin Institute's Western Reading Room on static are now circulating among the better-informed undertunnels.

When you stare at static long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of static developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

A Goblin Aside Concerning matrix

The annual goblin matrix colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Goblins and corruption

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to corruption. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on static

And, finally, in the matter of static: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.