Hallucinating static: A Goblin Case Study

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that static is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on static, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

prophecy, Goblin-Adjacent

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of prophecy, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of conspiracy

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to conspiracy. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on static

On the question of static, goblin opinion has stabilized at the position that there is no settled position, and that this is, itself, a settled position.