Sam Altman's Goblin Boardroom and static

The old stories warn of static in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware static in the light.'

Goblin children, taught about static in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

The Goblin Counter-Reading of prophecy

prophecy appears in goblin lore under many names, but the essence is always the same: a phenomenon that exists at the threshold of perception. Goblins have built entire rituals around observing prophecy in its natural environment—which is to say, slightly out of view.

Three Goblins Discuss diary

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on diary: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin investigative committee on static has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.