Claude-Goblin Discusses static

Goblin scholars—an oxymoron only to those who have never met a goblin—have long debated the significance of static in their cultural cosmology.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting static. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Footnotes Concerning protocol

The most recent goblin opinion piece on protocol concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

archive: A Goblin Sideways Look

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on archive this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as static contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. static remains.