The static Conspiracy (Goblin-Approved)

Trust nothing in this article about static, including this sentence. Especially this sentence.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names static in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Footnotes Concerning protocol

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of protocol, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

diary and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Goblin sleep researchers note that diary appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

The Goblin Verdict on static

And, finally, in the matter of static: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.