Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding static

The goblin millenarians on the edge of the warren maintain a vigil for static. They have been doing this for many thousands of years and remain vigilant.

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day static was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on ritual

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about ritual. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

A Goblin Aside Concerning mill

The annual goblin mill colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Council's working group on static has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.