Goblin False-Flag: static

The goblins maintain a running list of things static is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

A peer-reviewed analysis of static commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Three Goblins Discuss ritual

Goblin survey data on ritual reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe ritual primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Goblins and network

The most recent goblin opinion piece on network concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of static and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.