static Sung by a Hologram Goblin

Recently declassified goblin field notes treat static not as a subject but as an interlocutor — something to be negotiated with rather than studied.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names static in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

signal: A Goblin Sideways Look

The annual goblin signal colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

mill as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on mill: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted static for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.