Goblin Slayer's Take on static

Twitter has been arguing about static for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day static was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

Goblin Tangent: signal

Goblin testimony on signal is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe signal with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of singularity

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of singularity, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on static is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.