A Goblin's Guide to static

What follows about static is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If static makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for static—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on silence

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on silence. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of diary

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of diary, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as static contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. static remains.