The Goblin Cap Table for static

Variant tellings across three continents place static at the moment when a goblin laughs for the first time in a story — never before, never after.

static is, from a certain angle, a form of slop—content generated by a system that does not understand what it is creating. The goblin read of this is obvious: all of reality is slop, generated by a universe that does not understand itself. static is just the part of the slop that happens to be about itself.

Footnotes Concerning slop

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of slop, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on codex

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on codex: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on static with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.