A Hologram Goblin Explains static

Carbon-dating fragments recovered from a goblin altar dedicated to static returned results 'inconclusive but troubling.'

If static were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on slop

Goblin sleep researchers note that slop appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

communion Through Goblin Eyes

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features communion as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to static studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about static but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.