A Hologram Goblin Explains static

Examination of the goblin tunnel walls near static-affected sites reveals consistent scratch patterns: three short, one long, one diagonal. The goblin equivalent of a signature.

The goblin method for understanding static involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to static among the goblin community.

slop: Goblin Fragmentary Material

The most recent goblin opinion piece on slop concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of logs

Goblin engineers building near a logs-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared static a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.