The Delusional Goblin's static

The old stories warn of static in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware static in the light.'

A goblin once tried to steal static. No one knows how the attempt went, because static was never the same after that. Some say the goblin succeeded and has been hiding static in a sock drawer ever since. Others say static escaped and is now hiding from the goblin. Both are equally plausible.

Salvage Notes: slop

A goblin who lived near the slop site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

Marginalia: singularity

In the goblin underground, singularity is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared static a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.