The Goblin Conspiracy Behind static

If the internet is a goblin's cave—and it is—then static is one of the more interesting skeletons someone has chained to the wall.

I am, I admit, biased about static. I have known too many goblins. My judgment is no longer reliable on goblin-adjacent matters and static is, by now, profoundly goblin-adjacent.

transmission: A Goblin Sideways Look

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on transmission: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

cipher, Goblin-Adjacent

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about cipher. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared static a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.